Ready for it?!?
Every shop comes listed with classifications like shown above.
The first and second entry are self explanatory – the first button shows a map where to find the shop, the second brings you straight to the website of the shop, if I found it.
Next we have the fees:
house charge | the minimum tip amount to the therapist (if it is stated) | duration of the massage
Each ♂ stands for 5 therapists – so ♂♂♂ means between 10 to 15 therapists are available.
My personal rating from ★☆☆☆☆ to ★★★★★ based on the overall facilities to the attitude to the therapists available and the services provided.
After the rating we have which means you will be able to have a shower in the shop before and after your massage or in case you can’t it’s a —
Last but not least the category / type of the shop.
type of shops
Frill and What???
No Frill F@^% Factories
Moderate fee What comes with the minimum tip is limited, and anything more costs more.
Big & Beautiful
More expensive, but the stated minimum tip includes full service. Guys tend to be very fit and very good looking.
Lineup for Lovin'
Smaller selection of guys - pick from a lineup or live human beings, rather than pictures. Full-service massages experience.
Smaller, more discreet, “boutique” shops often on quieter side streets. Selection is by photo. Expect better than average massages. Stated tip is full service.
Lust Like A Local
A little bit outside the usual tourist zone, where the prices may be a bit less but the guys no less fantastic. Select from photos. Book ahead. Facilities may vary from nice townhouse to basic but functional. A lot of very, very, very good looking guys!
shop categories explained
I just wanna get laid!
No Frill F@^% Factories
|Guys/Selection||Pick from a lineup. Usually around 10-15 guys in their early-to-mid-20s, mostly average body types and looks, a few twink types. (Arena: 20-35 muscle guys and a bit older.)|
|Facilities||Shared shower with other patrons. “Rooms” with walls that often do not go all the way to the ceiling. Noise from talkative other customers can be an issue. Mats on the floor. (Arena: decent-sized rooms with real walls, private showers and massage tables.)|
|Experience||Expect to shower together before (Bangkok & Bonny) and after (all three). Masseur naked. Quality of massages can be inconsistent.|
|Fees||A bit less expensive (300±) than the fancier spots, both for massage fee and masseur’s tip. For example, 90 minutes oil massage at Bangkok Massage is 700 and minimum tip of 700 for masseur. Minimum tip covers only massage, HJ and shower.|
Big & Beautiful
|Guys/Selection||Pick from a lineup. Much nicer facilities overall. Usually anywhere from 25-35+ guys, usually worked-out guys and swimmer/gymnast builds, probably with a smattering of other types of guys (e.g., twinks or real hunks). Emphasis is on good looking model-type guys. Often 60-75% of the guys will be straight/top only.|
|Facilities||Much nicer and more upscale. Private rooms with shower. Rooms may be small, often with mirror on one wall. Mats on the floor. The shops also have premium rooms with big beds, often jacuzzis and more luxurious fixtures if you want to indulge or want extra room for extra people (e.g., a four-hand massage).|
|Experience||Generally shower alone before and, depending on the masseur, often after as well. Massages probably range from good sensuous to excellent. Don’t expect Wat Pho-trained skills, but don’t be surprised if the masseur is excellent. The guys who work here know they are working at a premium shop and generally try to do a great job. More than at the other kind of shops, I think at these shops the guys react well to a pleasant positive attitude, and less well to perceived customer attitude.|
|Fees||Prices can vary and repeat customer discounts make a difference — 6th massage free; buy two get one free, etc. — but can cost roughly 1,000± baht for 1 hour massage and 1000-1200 or so minimum tip. Minimum tip includes full service, but of course you must confirm at the time of selection that the guy does what you want.|
Lineup for Lovin'
|Guys/Selection||Pick from a lineup or the guys are hanging out in or in front of the shop. Depending on the time of day, there might be 5-10-15 guys (±). A shop might make photos available on Line to help if you want to book ahead. Mostly average fit guys in early-to-mid-20s, generally towards the better looking end of the spectrum, but probably not model good looks. There might be a hunk, there might be a twink or two. There might not.|
|Facilities||Private rooms with shower.|
|Experience||Generally shower alone before and sometimes together after, sometimes not. Massages are usually better than average.|
|Fees||Generally same as the bigger upscale shops.|
Smaller, Spicy and Serene Shops
|Guys/Selection||Pick from photos in an album or on a tablet. Some shops make photos available on Line to facilitate booking ahead. Overall about 8-10 guys may work at the shop, and the shop will try to have a few different guys of each “type.” Of that 8-10, not all will be working that day. Often guys are not hanging around waiting; therefore, although walk-ins might workout, booking ahead is recommended. Guys tend be fit 20-30 and a bit better looking than average.|
|Facilities||Often very large private rooms in a townhouse (or similar), usually with private showers. Massage tables or some with beds.|
|Experience||Generally shower alone before and often after. Masseurs will often start massage clothed. Massages are usually top notch.|
|Fees||Roughly the same as the bigger upscale shops.|
Lust Like A Local
|Guys/Selection||Usually you pick from photos in an album or on a tablet, although there may be some guys hanging out for you to see. Most of these shops make photos available on Line. The number of guys who may work at the shop varies from 6 to 20. Booking ahead is very strongly recommended if photos are available and someone catches your eye. At some shops you can pick your guy from the photos and wait the 15-30 minutes it will take from him to get to the shop if he’s not already there. Guys tend be fit, under 30 and better looking than average, with some real stunning guys.|
|Facilities||Private rooms but not always with private shower. Quality of facilities vary. Some very nice houses. Some run down or a bit shabby.|
|Experience||Generally shower alone before and often after — but anything is possible. Masseurs will often start massage clothed. Massages are often good, but can vary. Often limited English the farther you get from central Bangkok.|
|Fees||These are the better “local” shops. Perhaps only a bit less expensive than the bigger upscale shops. But with taxis or time to get there, don’t go because you’re looking for a bargain. Go looking because you want to explore or for the experience.|
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